BEING A GOLDEN SUBMISSIVE
Can a Dominant be Caring?
In the typical fantasy, the dominant is an uncaring psychopath. In scenes, dominants role-play as uncaring. Um, the uncaring dominant can be really hot.
But suppose you are really giving control of yourself to a real person. Do you really want this person to be uncaring?
- You won't lead a happy life being controlled by someone who wants to abuse or exploit you.
- An uncaring dominant might try to break your spirit or make you weak. That isn't good for you.
- I sop up emotions from the people around me. If you are the same way, it isn't healthy for you to be around people who don't like you.
- If you trust someone you can let yourself be submissive to them. You don't have to fight them. So your submission can be stronger.
Some dominants are good caring people. But they believe they have to act uncaring. (Or worse, they try to be uncaring!) They need to be taught differently. Of course you should just avoid the psychopaths and abusers.
Giving up "Bad Hot" for True Submission
To me, it's kind of like being an alcoholic and staying on the wagon and not drinking any alcohol, and living a happy life because you know that the alcohol isn't good for you. But the temptation is always there in your mind, calling you with short-term excitement and happiness.
So you have to be willing to give up the "bad hot" of an uncaring dominant. I am not saying that is easy, I am just saying it is good for you in the long run.
Experiencing Real Submission
In the dark fantasy, your master can somehow force you to do whatever he wants, no matter how much you don't want to do it.When you have real submission to a real person, your master still controls you. But it is a different kind of control. You want to please your master. So if we wants something, you want to give it to him. You want to be obedient. So if he tells you to do something, you are happy to obey.
You might even have the illusion that you aren't being controlled! Because you are doing what you want. But you are still contolled by your master, and it is important for you to feel that.
Depersonalization: DON'T
In Dark Submission, the sub sometimes is treated like less that a person. She loses her name. I saw one sub wearing a ball over his head so you couldn't even see his face. And things like being quiet and not complaining or saying what you want are really common.
But depersonalization is exactly the wrong thing for Golden Submission. You want to trigger your dominant's protectiveness. That means being submissive to him, but it also means you being a person.
So basically you should try to be the opposite of a robot. Be yourself. Show life. Be a person. Show your feelings and emotions. That includes telling your Master what you want and like. (Then you have to trust him not to let you top from the bottom.) Admit your quirks and weaknesses.
If your dominant wants to depersonalize you at the start, then that's a bad sign. But maybe you need it? He does have to establish dominance. So if he otherwise seems caring, I guess you have to trust him. But sooner or later you have to be a person.
Strength
The Dark Fantasy is to be weak so your dominant can easily control you. There is no need for that in Golden Submission. Your dominant should want you to be healthy and happy, which means making you strong. (Of course, you might have too much pride; and the dominant might need to establish dominance.)
In fact, your dominant can take more pride in controlling someone who is strong. Well, strong in other ways.