More Than Scenes

It is kind of common that you find someone at Second Life who wants to play a scene with you where they get to dominate. I call these Scene Dominants.

If all you want is a scene, then great. If you want more, you don't have to give up on these people. They probably like being a dominant, that's why they are doing the scene. If they like being a dominant, scenes might not be enough for them either.

Everyone is different. But they have potential. They like control. They want to have fun, not really abuse you. They are usually nice people.

So how to you get them to do more? How do you teach them something different?

Helping Them Learn

A lot of what you do is the same as helping a dominant enjoy domination or helping a dominant learnt to dominate. So you can read those essays ( (Helping Dominants).

Probably no one trained them to be a dominant. (That training isn't always good anyway.) So they only way they can know about submissives is to read our Dark Fantasies. Those fantasies are a great guide to Dark Submission, but they are a poor guide to Golden Submission and being a real dominant.

So they probably don't understand their own needs and what can happen in a dominant-submissive relationship. They probably don't understand submissives. (We are really hard to understand.)

Here are more hints on helping them learn more than just playing scenes.

Playing the Scene

There is usually some role you are supposed to play in the scene. If you just play out your role, then you aren't experienced as a person. This is a trick for making any scene more realistic: Imagine yourself actually in the scene. Then react like you would react in the scene.

Then you are being yourself, also if your dominant has to react to something new, that brings the dominant's personness to the scene. And they usually like something different, they get tired of the same scene all the time.

As always, there is the problem of whether disobedience is frustrating or exciting to the dominant. So I am not exactly helping you with how to change the scene. Sorry.

Acting Uncaring

When you are in scene, ordinary dominants will probably act like they are sociopaths who don't care about you. You have to realize that it is probably just an act. Or really the way a scene is supposed to go.

Um, they read the fantasies, and they know what submissives like. They are just doing what most submissives like. So don't take it seriously. If you are like me, you have to feel like the dominant cares for you, but you can talk about that or feel it outside the scene.

Getting Outside the Scene

Probably the most important thing is to get outside the scene, act with your Scene Dominant, and be submissive outside the scene.

One thins is just to discuss the scene. What excited you? What excited the dominant? Or, you can discuss what you are like as a submissive, and try to find out what they are like as a dominant.

But you can discuss anything else too. That’s what friends do, they talk about what is on their mind.

Part of the point here is to DEVELOP A FRIENDSHIP. So you are friends, on top of dominating and submitting. Then they will enjoy it more and you will enjoy it more.

BRING YOUR SUBMISSION TO THE WHOLE RELATIONSHIP

When you are outside the scene, still be submissive. In all of the ways I talked about here. Follow their lead. Always. Ask permission as often as you can. Get advice or help on something if you can think of anything. If you are a guy, be worshipful.

Your ordinary dominants probably don't expect this. But I think they will enjoy it. As far as I know, they enjoy the control.

Don't forget to ask permission before you leave.

Tell them when something excites you. This is important to do in the scene, and even more important to do outside the scene, when they might not even know they are dominating you. This feedback helps them dominate you, and it makes domination more enjoyable for them.

They might not know anything about what it is like for you to be submissive. So tell them that too. If their dominance makes you feel submissive towards them, tell them. If they have become more than a character in a play, tell them.

Tell them about yourself? The ordinary dominants understand about limits and discussing a scene. Tell them things that are more than just a scene. I tell them straight out I only submit to people who like me. I have complicated feelings about punishment and sex. But don't be me, be yourself.

That's the basic advice.

Okay. The thing I didn't explain very well is that when you dominate someone in a nice way, and you control them and they are obedient and they want to please you and they like you, then....

You start to like them and care for them.

I don't think your ordinary dominant has any idea that this can happen. So it's magic if you two can get to this place in your relationship.

So do all of those things. Be a good submissive, and tell them you like them if you like them, and tell them you appreciate them spending time with you and dominating you.

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