Golden DominationFeeling Control
I am not exactly sure why you want to be a dominant. But you probably want to feel control over someone else. Maybe that helps your confidence, maybe that makes you feel like a winner; or maybe you just like control, end of story.
Maybe you can feel that briefly in a scene; maybe that scene is even enough. But I want you to experience real control of a submissive. If you act dominant, and if you control a submissive, you trigger the submissiveness inside us. Then, if we can let go of our fears, you control how we feel. We will want to please you and we will want to be obedient. That's real control! Triggering Your CaringWhenever I dominate someone, I start to get protective of them. I didn't even realize it was happening until the second time I attacked one of my friends just to protect someone I was dominating. But every dominant I have talked to has agreed that happens.So, when you start, you should have the same caring for a submissive that you have for any human being. Whatever that is. No one expects you to have more. But when you dominate that submissive, you will probably feel more caring. That is the way it is supposed to be. You have to make decisions about when and how to show that caring/protectiveness. But for God's sake don't fight it. Enjoy it. There are also warm feelings. The submissive crush is not much different from stong love. There can also be a trust -- it gets easy to trust someone who really wants to please and obey you. The Path To Golden DominationSometimes subs come to you seeking only Dark Submission. Sometimes they are wiser. That makes it easier.But either way, you have to establish dominance. I guess that means being strong and looking dominant. And it means doing the "games" of Dark Submission to be in control and establish dominance. Not much is known about how you get from there to Golden Submission. Other Suggestions1. You cannot let your sub top from the bottom -- you still have to do what you want. It's just that now you probably want to care for your submissive. You can't do something just because your sub wants it. Unless you are in the mood to do that.2. You still have to sometimes tell your sub to do things that are completely for you. You deserve that, for your hard work and caring. And your sub probably needs it. 3. You can show your caring a lot of different ways. Care about the big stuff. Build up your sub, don't tear her down. Try to get to know her and be friends 4. The games of BDSM are not bad! If you want to feel your control, play one of the games. Your sub might not need these games. But all the subs I talked to seemed to still like them and to like the reminder that they are controlled. BlocksBlocks are things in your submissive that cause her to resist your control. In Dark Submission of course the dominant wants to break through blocks.In Golden Submission, it is trickier. There are still blocks you want to break down or crash through. But some blocks might be good. For example, you might not want your sub being submissive to an uncaring dominant. So you might intentionally build blocks in your sub, if they are good blocks. These blocks signal that you are a caring dominant -- uncaring dominants do not intentionally build blocks againsts uncaring domination. They also give your sub more space to trust you. So one good block is probably that your sub should not be obedient if your command causes real injury or harm. Hopefully this is a miscommunication, but you still don't want your sub being obedient in this situation.
|